White Food is not the color of RAW.

My Director treated me to lunch today after three tedious days of Inventory Quarantine at the Bookstore. Actually I was invited to join her, her partner and a friend of theirs, and honored. Some time away from the store, sounded refreshing.

Olive Garden. The never ending bowl of pasta. She was concerned that maybe I wouldn’t find anything on the menu, knowing that I was into my 90-day RAW experiment. I knew they served salad, so I reassured her I would be fine.

An interesting observation about raw food is so little of it is white. To be surrounded by meals that were white was noticeable in contrast to what I have been accustom to lately. Even my salad was nearly white, made up of mostly iceberg and onions, saved by the few tomatoes my dining buddies let me snag. The Italian dressing, I am sure not of the caliber of dressing I am use to throwing on my salads at home, I have to admit, made my taste buds sing! Sugar?

The plate next to me, cheese ravioli served in Alfredo sauce, took my breath away. This was the first time, since I started this, that I felt the old feeling of….something, I am not sure... and when the white soft bread sticks were dipped in the sauce, topped with fresh grated Parmesan cheese…well, food envy was definitely tugging at those memories of my old comfort foods. The feeling subsided as I got more absorbed into the shared conversation.

Tonight I thoroughly enjoyed my beautiful vibrant dark green salad that was ignored at lunch. Made with marinated mushrooms, heirloom tomatoes, tomatilloes, sliced chili peppers, avocado and green onions. This! Is live food.

For dessert; dried fruit, a few raw energy cubes from the local organic market, and a glass of hazelnut milk to stoke my body for tomorrow morning's workout. This night time combination has been working very well for me.

Raw Note:
Though my commitment to raw food is strong, to some, comprising on my salad dressing today may have been a significant indiscretion. But......"no food life style should be a religion", well over used, but I don't know how to express my feelings any better. My other thought is, that to deny myself joining these beautiful ladies for a meal would have been the greater sin.

I LOVE Weekends at Home!

In preparation for the week, I went to Farmer’s market bright and early this Saturday morning and purchased corn, tomatoes, pecans and flax seed crackers. Finished off my shopping at my natural market. Came home and reshuffled produced, putting the last of last weeks up front and this weeks fresh towards the back. Then created 2 salads to last me the week.

Broccoli Salad
1 large bunch of Broccoli, stems peeled, sliced thin
½ yellow onion, slivered
Olive oil
Apple cider vinegar
Curry
Salt
Garlic

Tomato/Tomatillo Salad
6 small tomatoes, chopped into large chunk
4 Tomatillo, chopped into smaller chunks
4 green scallions, whites and greens
½ yellow bell pepper, cut into thin strips
½ red bell pepper. cut into thin strips
Hemp oil
Apple cider vinegar
Garlic
Cayenne
Salt

Both of these are great with a sliced of avocado, but then again, what isn’t?

Also made Chia seed gel
1 part chia seeds to 3 parts water in a glass container with lid.
Shake fiercely. Let sit for 10 minutes
Shake again.
Store in the refrigerator.
It is suggested to take 3 T a day for added fiber. I take it when I am hungry, but am not ready to eat yet.

And…

Hazelnut milk.
1 cup hazelnuts
2 dates
½ tsp vanilla

Soak hazelnuts in water at room temperature for 24 hours.
Drain.
Add three cups fresh water.
Scooping both water and nuts, blend at high speed, adding pitted dates.
Place in glass bowl, lined with cheese cloth. Gather corners to twist and tighten over a bowl to collect your pulp and strain the milk. "Nut Bags" are also available.
Makes about 4 cups
Freeze pulp wrapped in wax paper, then zip lock bag for a future raw concoction, not sure yet what they may be.

One thing about goin’ raw, is as a mother of three with limited funds, a time ago in my life, an out grown habit endured. To eat perishables that were “past due on their rent”. Not now. I had old pesto that I had made from fresh greens, a while back, and looked at it, and smelled, thought it looked and smelled “okay”, there was no life, it was dead. In my old life, I probably would have made a salad dressing out of it, and called it good. Into the garbage the last of this batch goes. I guess I am growing up.

Raw Notes:

Consider bringing your plastic produce bags to the market with you, along with your reusable cloth shopping bags. If you are taking care of your body, you certainly want to take care of Mother Gaia by not throwing them away.

Had a chat with the pecan man about what makes a nut “raw”. Larger nut companies (like what you buy at Costco and major grocery stores) pasteurize their nuts at 190 degrees (ouch!) for preservation and extending shelf life. Smaller companies don’t need to because they sell seasonally and only to their community. Same chat with the honey man about honey. His answer was basically the same.

Found myself slightly conflicted at the produce section of my natural market. Apples. Five different kinds, but none of them were from our country. Organic, but imported. What I have heard, is though they may be grown organic in another country according to what that country defines organic, sometimes during the importing process, they may be sprayed with a chemical to prevent…something, hitchhikers, spoiling, not sure, but it doesn’t sound good. Now, I have this habit of having an apple every afternoon. Hmmmm. Then I got to think about my morning favorite of banana, not USA. Ended up filing this feeling, these thoughts for another shopping trip. Bought my bananas from Mexico and apples from Chile. South America does seem to be the place to be for a prosperous farmer these days.

Sorting the Mind and Fueling the Body

After being “out of routine” couple of weekends, with lots of love, close communications and reflections, I return to my quiet life here in the pines at the college, sans students. In this duality, this contrast, now that my days are quiet, it is moments like this that I struggle to see my purpose, it is easy to slip into what seems to be "meaningless". Understanding this, is my only salve.

It did not surprise me, that after coming home from work, on the first Monday back, that I fell into that old familiar; emotional eating urge. Seeking to fill that perception of "emptiness". My kitchen is completely raw, I made sure of that from the very beginning just for moments like this.

Sooo…instead of my customary salad for dinner, I finished off the coconut butter, finished of the raw trail mix left over from vacationing, ate half of an avocado with agave syrup on it, devoured a pint of strawberries, and then a healthy serving of celery sticks and almond butter. Finally I was full. Not numb, but full. I was not in a glycemic trance, as what would have happened in the past. I could actually work out what it was that I was trying to numb myself from, and came to peace with it.

The next day, I allowed my body to rest;
Breakfast was super shake
10am carrots
Lunch fresh green juice and a shot of wheat grass
5pm apple
Dinner was a tall glass of orange juice

But…..

The next morning was my YMCA day. I usually beat my alarm which goes off at 4:30 on this mornings, if I don’t. This time I turned it off trying to talk myself into sleeping in until 6:30, laying there conflicted until 5:00 I pushed myself out of bed, and rushed my morning routine to get down to the Y for a full routine before work. Though I had my sprouted bean protein supplement that morning, the work out was a push for me to get through.

Raw Note:

Emotional Eating: this is the issue I absolutely knew would come up. I also see that I am rapidly increasing my awareness of what I am doing, and the clarity to sort through it. I am sure this will not be the last time, but I strongly suspect the urgency will dissipate as I continue to unravel the knots in my sentient self.

Fueling the body: The night before my next work out, I will experiment with more fuel for my body from homemade almond milk, coconut butter, protein supplement, sprouted wheat.....

Raw Potluck at Grace Grove

With very little time to resettle into my routine, I am off and runnin’ with AZJoe from Phoenix. We head to Grace Grove, a beautiful oasis/healing center in Cornville, AZ. The gig: Raw Potluck and Campout.

We assessed our groceries before heading out and came up with our contribution to the potluck; Tomatillo and Plum Salad. AZJoe had three pounds of Royal Anne cherries just in case.

Grace Grove (http://www.gracegrove.com/) is beautiful! Streams, ponds and small waterfalls play symphonic overtures with the gentle breezes as they comb through the leaves of cypress, oak, bamboo and dried grasses. Wild berry bushes landscape the water banks. You can see why this is a place of such healing, as Grave Grove is just that. It made me think about the important role of the healer in the community of the future. In my idyllic perception, I believe that the healers of the future will not heal us, but remind us about our own abilities to heal thyself, if/when one forgets.

The potluck was inspirational, reaffirming and VERY filling, yes beyond that “Satisfied Feeling” that I have come to recognize. So many flavors, so many different ingredients, YUM! Latecomers arrived throughout the afternoon, keeping the selection fresh and new, as if by design.

Stories were shared of health, raising vibrational energy, and life force in foods. There was so much laughter, smiles and hugs amongst friends, once strangers, as well as demonstrations in new ways to prepare new foods.

My favorite was raw corn salad made with avocado, onions, cilantro and fresh lime juice. I also enjoyed guacamole served over sprouted lentils, coconut pie, chocolate mousse, and cinnamon ice cream (all raw!)

By the time AZJoe and I could not eat another bite, we grabbed our cameras and went exploring down by the waters edge. Amazingly the fullness left, and I only felt very satisfied, as I drifted off to sleep that night, under the stars.

Raw Notes:
Cacao, though a potent super food, should be regarded as an occasional nutrient, because it can cause some strain to the digestive system.

Kombucha: because the manufactures have a tendency to crank them out so fast to get to market, that the probiotic "live" culture is not as beneficial as it once was. It was suggested, if buying from the market, select the Kombucha with fewest ingredients and let it continue to ferment for another 6 months, unopened in your pantry. The best is to purchase the culture starter and make it yourself.

Raw honey is raw, but not vegan. Now thinking about some poor daddy bee not being able to feed his family because I had honey does not sit well with me, no matter how off base that perception might be. God bless the bees.

Agave Syrup; watch it’s glycemic index, much higher than once believed, again probably due to commercialization.

The one grounding thought that rescued me from the confusion of what is the right thing to eat, or not to eat was…. “Trust your body" I have noticed the longer I am on raw food, the more aware I am of my body’s messages. When I eat a particular food, and don’t feel energetic afterwards, I am beginning to trust that.

cabin trip Final

Monday
Hiking today! Yay! The goal is the 3rd highest peak in Arizona, I believe the number was near 11,000 ft high, 3 mile hike up, with an ascension of near 1300 ft, then 3 miles down. Nice.

In preparation, for breakfast, after my Super Shake, I supplemented with a healthy serving of wheat berry sprouts (so yummy, so easy, so cheap) topped with sliced bananas, blueberries and a drizzle of agave syrup.

This was going to be a test for me. Endurance and physcial exertion on a raw diet. Maybe it was the beauty of the thick aspen groves, wild irises, symphony of birds and butterflies, but I did very, very well. When it was time to break up at the top, I ate 2 apples and 1/2 cup of sunflower seeds, satisfying. My brother -in-law gets the "tough dude" award for carrying 2 year-old ADORABLE niece in her back pack.

Evening routine has settled with cocktails, dinner, games, and ADORABLE niece just as sweet as dessert that was served after she was easily put to bed. If I felt like I was hungry for something sweet during dessert, I enjoyed fresh fruit.


Tuesday
Drive in the countryside, picnicing, canyon exploring and then discovering a beautiful area to dip toes (and ADORABLE niece's bare behind) in the cool running creek water. Everyone agreed this spot was worth further exploration next time.

Wednesday; Time to go home. Transition has always been difficult for me, ever since I moved out here away from my family, visiting often, only to return to my place, my life. A challenge that I would numb with carbohydrates, sugar and wine. This time, I was so satisfied with where I am with my family, my life, that despite being low on fresh groceries, I just chose to stay home and enjoy the quite evening alone, reflecting on what a great piece of life I have right now.

Raw Notes:

• Eating raw corn on the cob is YUMMY!
• I LOVE sprouting, and am looking forward to doing more experimentation when I get home
• I am so much more aware of what it feels like to be “hungry”, and what it feels like to be “satisfied”
  

Cabin Trip with the Family part 2

Friday

I awoke to the blush of the early sun, and then enjoyed slipping back and forth from slumber until 8am, when I heard ADORABLE niece announce; "I woked up!"

At the sign of my stomach’s first grumble, I prepared my Super Shake. When asked does it taste good, I shook my head, but mentioned that the energetic feeling I feel from it far out compensates for it’s taste. I have come to find great satisfaction in this morning routine.

When eggs, pancakes, and sausage was served, I enjoyed sliced banana, drizzled almond butter then sprinkled with bee pollen.

I borrowed my sister and brother-in-law's yoga mat, placed in the sun, under the pines and deeply enjoyed my 20 minute routine. Yoga makes it easy for me to slip into a meditative space since I have become raw.

Saturday

Woke up to a moist cold morning on my "cabin porch bedroom". Though I was toasty in my sleeping bag, it had rained, thundered and hailed during the night, so much so, that I had to get up in the middle of it to rearrange my bed to the center of the covered patio to avoid getting wet. I returned back to sleep listening to thunder and hail, awoke a little later to watch the the sun rise, through the clouds breaking open, and the storm dissipated. Nice.

While the Fam brewed coffee, then passed out pecan sticky buns, I fixed my Super Shake, and sliced a perfectly ripened mango. Not realizing, I used the same knife from the sticky buns. When I licked the knife clean of mango juice, a yummy smile rolled across my face, then I panicked a bit, wondering if I broke my Raw commitment. Ugggg.

Checked my sprouts. Sunflowers are starting to bust through! Just like a garden, without soil. Both of the wheat samples are a bit slower.

After cleaning the kitchen, and enjoying time reading in the sun, we collected our fishing poles, chairs and picnic foods, then drove down the road to a nearby lake. As the chairs were unfolded, and poles were fixed for fishing, I grabbed my writing materials and a newly adopted camera (thank-you AZJoe : ) , to do some of my own exploring into the woods surrounding the lake. It wasn't long before I started to build a sweet relationship with this camera that fits my hand so well. When I discovered a huge flat boulder warmed by the sun, I sat to do some journaling.

As I returned to the Fishin' Fam, we broke for lunch. I will never tire of salad, especially when it has had an hour or two to "marinate" in its juices.

Later..

After a little nap and clean up, dinner at Tal WiWi Lodge, just west of Alpine, was on tonight's agenda. I'm thinkin' a little time to myself, some writing, playing my music, enjoying the space and when I become hungry, food I am sure about. So, I send the Fam off to dinner, and enjoying the feeling of "home" in this cabin.

It is easy for me to imagine, living in a cabin like this. Soaking up this feeling, this feeling of what my future housing will feel like. Space between me and neighbors, no "ant" problem, a little more room, a little more privacy, pines. I even have Fam's dog laying at my feet... how nice it would be to have simple companion.

I am a firm believer that it is "feeling" that helps one attract their desires. It is the sensory and emotional level in which we dance to the vibration of manifestation...okay back to earth... This cabin, this space, this evening, I occupy this very positive experience fully.

So before my dinner, while having my Kombucha, I make dessert for my family...

Pecan Bites
¾ cup Cacao Butter, gently melted,(shave first for quicker, easier melt)
¼ c coconut oil
12 dates, minced
2 cup pecan meal
1 cup mesquite flour
3/4 cup agave syrup
2 t vanilla
Dash of salt
Roll into quarter size balls, dust with cacao powder.

The reason I really like these ingredients is because 3 of the dense nutrient foods; dates, mesquite flour and ground pecans are all locally harvested here in Arizona. I do struggle a bit that most "Super Foods" are imported, which gets zero points for supporting sustainable living.


Tonight's Yummy salad was made with
spinach
kale
mushroom
sliced green garlic
Bright yellow heirloom tomatoes
Red lentils, soaked for 24 hours (works great)
avocado
Dulce flakes
Splashed with olive oil and apple cider vinegar
Enjoying a swig of the vinegar before I put it away. Bam!

Cabin Time with Family part 1

I love road trips! I love meeting up with my Family!

Bright and early this morning, after slamming down my Super Shake, I packed up the car, tossed some fruit and cashews in my back pack, slipped in one of my books-on-CD, and away I went. With a pit stop in a couple of hours to check in with my sister and her family, recovering from a car break down on their way up, I will probably be on the road 8 hours today.

During the first half of today's drive, I stopped by two “Natural Markets”, neither of them understood "raw", but what can you expect from Payson and Show Low? One clerk was pleased to show me her one box of raw energy bars, she was so proud I couldn't help but purchase three of them, later to find out they expired November of last year.

I was pleased to see a small selection of reasonably priced organic produce at the second "natural market". When I asked the owner if he had any cacao butter to supplement a raw dessert in mind I will make for my "Fam" this week, he showed me cocoa butter for the skin. From this market, I purchased organic local dates and a few organic avocados.

Raw Note: cocoa vs cacao
After researching the Internet, it appears to be split down the middle. The notable cooks vs notable raw foodists. The former believe there is no difference between the two, the latter believe that cacao is unprocessed, unadulterated cocoa. There you have it. Further findings will be reported.

After four hours on the road, I felt my energies depleting quickly and knew it was time for my ready-to-eat salad. Though there was another banana, an apple, and expired raw energy bars handy, greens is what my body was asking for, and a stop off the road is what my mind was asking for.

I found a city park in Show Low, and took the time to pull over and enjoy my salad under the tall pines. Before heading on the road again, I took a swig of Bragg Apple Cider Vinegar and then a couple of pinches of crunchy cacao nibs. The extreme flavors in these two, along with the greens kicking in, gave me a burst of “wake-up".

One observation as a new raw foodie, is the entertainment value of exploring different tastes and textures. Vinegar is naturally very tart, and the cacao nibs very bitter. Though I would never make a meal of these two, taking a quick "shot" of them, sure wakes up the whole body, mind and spirit.

Raw Note:
Apple cider vinegar has an incredible list of benefits too many to mention, and great grandpas and grandmas who live to be near 100, have been doing it for ever.
Cacao Nibs have an incredible amount of iron and magnesium

Arriving in Alpine, AZ, 8500 ft high, I was welcomed by tall pines, aspen, oak and open meadows. While breathing in the delightful and refreshing clean air, I easily settled into our cabin home for the week and relaxed a bit on the porch, catching up with my parental units.

A little later, I pulled out "The Sprouting Book" by Ann Wigmore and did some preparatory research to start my four sprouting experiments, 2 kinds of wheat, red lentils (which I later read, will not sprout) and sunflower seeds.

Raw Note:
Life Force in Sprouts: as uninformed as I was, thinking sprouts were great for reduction diets and an alternative to lettuce on salads and sandwiches, but noooo; when I think about it now, and actually "see" the life force that busts through a hard dried seed into a growing thing by introducing water, I can easily imagine my body recognizing the benefits of digesting this "life force", as Ann suggests in her book; "The life energy in fresh sprouts stimulates the body's inherent self-cleansing and self-healing abilities"

My sister's family arrives, just before sunset, and after they settle in, my dad and brother-in-law lovingly make cocktails for their wives. My 2 year old ADORABLE niece, who has added "kombucha" to her vocabulary, thanks to Auntie, as she and I have our own cocktail when I pour her a small 4 ounce portion in her sippy cup. When a string of slimy culture oozes out of her lid, I reassure everyone by stringing it up with my finger and sliding it in my mouth, saying..."it's good!", my brother-in-law asks my mom if I was ever dropped on my head when I was young, my dad seriously thinks if he can remember. Nope, though I have been told that I did have a desire to taste good old Mother Earth, and what ever might be in that sample, which I guess, on occasion has been a worm.

Raw Note:
Kombucha is a fermented tea that is often enjoyed for medicinal purposes. Though there is limited scientific proof, it is promoted to aid the digestive system, boost immunity and detoxify the body.

My comment: The popularity of this drink has soared because of it's notable demand by high profile entertainers. When shopping for yours, read the label. There are a lot of "pop style" varieties out there, the most nutritional is made of four ingredient, water, black tea, organic raw sugar (or cane juice) and tea culture

As the chips and roasted peanuts come out, snack bags were passed about. I noticed a familiar urge to stick my hand in the bag, which is so customary and communal for me in case like this. I stopped to "feel" if I was truly hungry. I was not.

At the dinner table, the "Fam" dined on burritos, cheese crisp, tomatoes and lettuce while I pulled out my greens mix that I had prepared the night before, then topped it with mushrooms, pumpkin seeds, avocado, a healthy splash of olive oil, apple cider vinegar, garlic, and cayenne. I could feel my whole body drawn to the anticipation of sitting down to enjoy it. It was so satisfying.

After dinner, the men folk washed the dishes, and a game of dominoes pursued. ADORABLE niece was also included in the night time entertainment, but soon put to bed as it was a very full day for her. The grown ups then enjoyed dessert of bread pudding. My good Phoenix friend, AZJoe, sent along a care package delivered by my parents. In contained five fresh figs fresh from his garden. I quartered them, and drizzled coconut butter over them, his favorite way to serve them. I had enough to share with everyone, and everyone enjoyed. Yum!

Later than usual for me, I made my sleeping arrangements outside on the patio decking. It absolutely seemed like the right thing to do. Enjoying the cool night breeze and it's aroma would soon send me to sleep. Reflecting on my delightful evening with the "Fam", looking forward to the days to come. It is an incredible feeling to lay my tired body down to sleep with deep thoughts of gratitude on one's mind as you slip into the other world. This seems to be happening more nights than not for me.

More tomorrow.....

Vacation Land

4-5 Days in higher pines than I'm living in now. Alpine, AZ. "Cabin Vacation" with Mom, Dad, my sister, brother-in-law, and 2 year old Princess Natalie. Now these folks (including the princess) are serious foodies.

This is the 35 year old family food business that I walked away from 2 years ago. It is the delightful land of imported cheeses and meats, luscious wines and micro-brewed beers, pates, Russian chocolates, olives stuffed with blue cheese, wasabi coated peanuts, Scottish shortbread, and Swedish fruit preserves...ahhhh...I remember it well, for I was the retail manager. I tasted my way through most of what came in the back door, and watch exiting in the arms of very satisfied customers going out the front door.

Now, things are different......
I have my crate and cooler filled of different delights; cacao nibs, dried jackfruit, dulce flakes, kombucha, mesquite powder, chia seeds and hemp oil. Hell, my spell checker doesn't even recognize most of these words.

For my short week's share of fresh produce, I am heading towards the White Mountains, looking for an organic market on the way, but from my web search, it looks like my best bet is the organic section at Safeway in Eager.

Oh yea, you bet, I'll get plenty of ribbing from the ol' fam, as they smell, poke, maybe be brave enough to sip and sample through my own kind of delectables. But that is the loving nature of this clan, and I don't expect anything less.

At this moment, sitting in my RAW safe kitchen, I don't miss any of those foods. It will be interesting to see what happens, when the Brie at room temperature is softening into relishes and breads that share the same plate, and the cork is pulled out of the bottle of a gorgeous red.

The Birth of Manifestation

It is in those ouchy moments, once again, I am reminded, that gives us true focus on what it is that we don’t want in order to make obvious what it is that we do want. With this change of focus, possibilities and solutions seep into our day, our hearts, our relationships. Then synchronistic events, begin to happen, look for them even in the smallest nuances. This is manifestation occurring.

Ouchy

Today was challenging, my energy force was low. I am not sure if the several "ouchy" events that happened today actually happened or if it was my perception because, the "force" had escaped me. One thing I do know for sure, I will wake up tomorrow feeling released from the heaviness of today.

I ate:
5am super shake
8am walnuts and banana
10 am carrots and green bell peppers
1:00 Salad of the Week plus mushrooms, yellow hybrid tomatoes and cashews
4:00 apple and strawberries
6:00 handful of walnuts and cashews
8:30 2tbl coconut butter and a glass of fresh orange juce

As I get ready for bed, I am remembering the sweet things that happened today. My cabin windows are open, the cool night air brings the sounds of crickets inside, and it makes me smile. I am happy in the forest, I am valued at my job, I am healthy, and tonight....the bills are paid.

I also remind myself, that just because nothing apparently and significantly powerfully happened today, doesn't mean that roots are growing underneath. Strong roots of change. It's coming.

It's Sunday...

Today I prepare my kitchen to make the upcoming week...
RAW easy : )

This Week's Big Bowl of Salad:
spinach
2 kinds of kale, sliced thinly
cauliflower, slide thinly,
grated zucchini
chopped yellow squash
sliced garlic greens
sliced green onions

This helps to rotate the veggies in the fridge, as I move greens from my greens keeper (a plastic container that I kept from pre-prepared washed organic greens) into this week's salad bowl, then yesterdays farmer's market purchases into my greens keeper.

I pull out a 8oz tub of squeezed lemon juice from my freezer to thaw for salad dressing, and "wake up" sipping.

For Easy Eatin':
I cut up a watermelon, bell pepper and trim carrot ends
place this week's Farmer's Market collection of cherry tomatoes in a bowl
soak chia seeds

Then create this week's shopping list.

Fruit
Mushrooms
olive oil (cold pressed), other oils?
check apple cider vinegar
Cacao (for my Super Shake, recipe following)
raw nuts
sun dried olives
check out sprouting bags

Super Shake - Every morning

1T cacao
1T maca powder
1T greens formula
1 scoop of sprouted nut/seed protein mixture (on mornings I work out)

Placed in a 12 oz jar, fill with water.
"Shake." Drink. You'll feel "Super"
: )
For dessert, phytoplankton drops



The Last Word:

Each of us is different, listen to your body for what's right for you. As you become aware of what you eat and how it makes you feel, then when you are ready, you'll make changes that improve everything, Try this with how you sleep and how you keep your body active. Our life experience starts with our personal relationship with self. The core of this relationship is how we take care of this physical body we are borrowing for this particular journey.

aloneness

I am alone. This has been a struggle for me ever since I moved away from my family over 2 years ago. Saturday, all day running errands, working a couple of hours at the bookstore, takin' care of business, and then I come home, and watch the sunset, and I am alone. The weekends are when I usually find comfort in a bottle of wine, mac n' cheese or pizza, then something too big and sweet for dessert...to numb it all. Tonight was different.

Spinach salad with avocado and cashews, a spoonful of coconut butter, I did break down and make a moderate serving of raw chocolate w/cacao. Yes, it was emotionally satisfying...and good for me.

Dealing with aloneness is intriguing, it sweeps feelings of "missing something important" to complete "independence and liberation". On one hand, no man is an island, and we are here to co-exist with the rest of the world, on the other hand, we all enter this world alone, and will exit it alone. I suppose another example of the duality of life, as I am learning to feel peace and comfort where ever I am. The day was warm, but I can feel the cool night breeze sweep in one window and out the next. Right now...I am at peace...and feel comfort in my aloneness...slumber awaits.

What I ate:

7am botched batch of tired bok choy whizzed in the blender with an apple. I even added agave syrup to help cut the bitterness of the green. Mega enzymes and vitamins. Filled up a wine glass and served it with a spoon. Managed through about half of it, but ended up dumping the rest of the blender batch into my compost.
Clean out my wine glass and filled it up with fresh squeezed (a couple of months ago) orange juice, from my parents backyard.
10am power shake
12 noon, banana and cashews
2pm apple
7pm spinach salad and cocnut butter
10 pm raw chocolate with cashews

Energy baybeeeee

My daughter, who has admittingly been "stuck" for a little while, calls with some miraculous synchronistic events that have given her the green ticket to fast forward. Her path is leading her towards farming in Brazil.

With the wisdom to hold space for variances in the path, she has the enthusiasm to lead her the way, and with the help of a new/old buddy who's been leading a parallel life with my daughter, they will share the ride, as they both inspire each other to leap off the ledge and go beyond what is comfortable and known. Yay Ali! Yay Erica!

The energy was hard to ignore. I felt in my chest, as it tugged at myself to look further into my life to bring in my green ticket to go. It's funny; Ecuador has been on my mind for several months, and synchronistically, I have encountered 3 people, during this time, whom I deeply respect, living in Ecuador. How far is Ecuador from Brazil?

I reflected about the steps that I have taken over the years that place me in the position I am now, from removing the TV, going from vegetarian, to vegan, and now raw, from drinking medicinally to not drinking at all, not to mention leaving my family business, and moving from Phoenix. All steps were unconscious acts, they just seemed right, as they came easily and effortlessly. It's almost as if some of us are preparing ourselves, getting ourselves in position for something big about to happen.

The Raw event...
Working out yesterday, I did feel an electric charge through my body that I have not felt before. It made working out easy, as I concentrated on the muscles being use, easily visualizing them getting stronger (is this another preparedness going on?). It was a great feeling that lasted through out the day.

After work, I visited a friend who had prepared a lovely dish of vegetarian appetizers, of which I had to decline, just for now I say...no diet should be a religion, but I want to fully embrace this lifestyle for three months. She was satsified with that answer, and said she knew three close friend who were raw as well. There was another person I just met across the street at the college that was raw as well. Hmmm.

Yesterday.....
I ate
5am Power Drink
8am hazelnuts and a banana
10 am carrots and cherries
1 pm salad of greens with mushrooms, sprouted beans, cashews and avocado
3pm mango
5pm watermelon, pineapple, kiwi and cantaloupe
9pm same salad as above (will I ever tire of salad?)
before bed cherries, while slowly licking 2 Tbl coconut butter from a spoon

Peace

Today;
I was more at peace. I was observing myself, out of myself, away from the trappings of the mind. Positive exchanges at work, with associates, and customers, of which I would have to say many have become nice friends. It also helped during those minutes of negative exchanges.

Today I ate:
6 am
Power Drink Jr: Maca, cacao, algae
hazelnuts and a banana
chia seeds
10 am
carrots and cherries
1:00
greens tossed with sprouted beans
4:00
2 wedges of watermelon (I like them again)
5:00
apple
8:00
greens tossed with tomatoes, mushrooms, avocado, sprouted beans, sunflower seeds

I am going to finish off the evening by inviting several library books to bed and pouring over them. Some on RAW food lifestyle and some on Climate Change (for my new book club).

I am really starting to listen to my body. Eating when I am hungry, eating what I am hungry for and eating as much as I need to feel satisfied.
Could it really be this easy?

Much Better....

What I did:
After 9 hours of sleep, just as I had suspected, a brand new day, with clarity, inspiration, and a feeling of optimism, awaking before my alarm at 4:30am
Worked out at the YMCA, which consists of 30 minutes on the bike, 30 minutes on the circuit machines, a nice 20 minute deep stretch, shower and change, then off to work.
Productive day at work, afterwards, dinner and a walk with a buddy. Afterwards: the first meeting of my first Book Club. Focus: Sustainability & Green Living. Looking forward to selecting my first book.
Home, for dinner #2,as dinner #1 didn't fill me up, some writing, and we'll call it a day.

What I ate:
5am: power drink (maca powder, cacao powder, algae and sprouted seed protein powder)
8am Cashews, banana
10am carrots and cherries
12:30: green salad with avocado and seeds
2:30: a few more cherries
5:00: dinner salad and Kumbucha
8:00: veggie toss of mushrooms, avocado, fresh salsa and sprouted garbanzo beans
9:00 glass of fresh squeezed grapefruit juice

Reflection:
As par for the course, what was confusing and frustrating the day before often agitated even further by my searching and grasping for anything that might look like solutions or clarity.....then the next day, it's all so easy, those exact same situations. Nothing has changed, only my point of view.

Day 1 - Watermelon Day

Yesterday I was fluctuating between glorious enthusiasm and then sheer terror about my commitment of going raw for 90 days. I had to remind myself, it's just food! Perhaps lesson #1 for me in this whole thing.
I enjoyed a few of my "not raw naughties" last night as a parting gift to my self. Fresh homemade rolls right from the oven with vegan margarine, baked potato with more margarine, corn on the cob, with more margarine, fresh strawberries and store bought chocolate for dessert. Yum. Needless to say I went to bed VERRY happy.
I had read from one of my raw foodies, about the cleansing properties of a watermelon fast. So, this is how I decided to start, a 24-hour watermelon fast. I managed fairly well, other than a slight headache most of the day, probably from no coffee. I also struggled with tiredness, and found it hard to concentrate. A small wave of disappointment came when I started wondering what I would fix for dinner tonight. I think I have had enough of that for one day, also enough thinking about feelings and situations in my life, what does it all mean, why is there struggle, why can't I find that satisfying perception of my life today. I will retire early.... bringing David Wolfe and Gabrielle Cousens to bed with me before I nod off. I am assured that I will wake up refreshed and ready to begin a new day.
Today's food consumption:
a lot of watermelon