Switch in Plans....

I am on Day 22 of writing. 
I even cheated during my "Art of Living" 4 day Silent Retreat, by jotting a few notes, to keep this commitment of writing for 30 days.
Well, things do change and they do shift.  I have taken down the book post-it notes on my bedroom wall, as it felt and represented to me; living in the past. 
Each day is such an evolution that to try to track it by going through my journals seems less important than to remain in the present with the notes that I make every day. 
Therefore, no book on the horizon at this moment.  Additional blogs? Hmmmm.

To post or not to post......

This is a common question among writers who are writing their memoirs.  Do I mention characters in their direct relation to me?  Do I post their pictures?  Just how much personal information can I comfortably share?  What about my kids, how will my honest interpretations hold up in the reality of who their mom is? 
The true answer, is in the subject of personal growth, of which my writing material is mostly about.....honesty is the primary rule.   But to what extent?  If someone is offended, it is an opportunity for their own internal self exploration, but what if their are not ready for that, and being offended is the only space they can hold at that time.
I just had to post my niece's picture here, because her sweetness saved me a couple of days ago, interrupting me as I was going through the density of my journals, nearing the death of my second husband. Is it suicide if he chose to drink himself to death?  Now I know his mother, sweet, smart, 92 year old Jo, may be offended by this remark...but I know she doesn't have a computer...or does she?

So for now....I seek permission, if flags are raised, and write carefully.  But when I am 92....I won't give a damn.

Writing Creates Energy. Energy Creates Writing

Energy.  That kinetic feeling that motivates each of us everyday.  It starts in the morning with the first alarm.  These days, for me it's about observing this energy of mine, what increases it, what decreases it, and how I can best utilize it for my daily writing practice. 
I have noticed when my energy wans, like right after lunch, to resist the nap, and get back into writing. This itself creates the needed energy, like fanning the embers, to move through the late afternoon. 
I have noticed that when my energy is at it's peak, like after my morning spiritual practice, I can keep it going longer, if I avoid distractions like answering the phone, taking a peak at my e-mails or grabbing a snack.
Another tool that helps, is to finish each writing session at a point in which I am ready to start or continue.  This way I am rarely staring at my keyboard, waiting for inspiration.  Even as simple as finding a photo to post, will get me running.
I am also aware that at this time, in my life, my writing comes much easier.  I remember trying to do this about 20 years ago, with three young children, and this same book idea.  A little premature, I came to the startling revelation that perhaps I need more life experience.  Well THAT has been pretty abundant in the last several years of my life, so here I am, and it feels great to be sharing it....even if it is to the abyss of an unknown blog site....I am very happy.

Life is a Reflection

In exchange for uninterrupted writing time and a free place to live,  I am helping my house-mate, AZJoe, organize his home to make it more productive to express his truth through wildlife photography.

When we loaded his pick up for another trip to Goodwill, he started sharing his feelings and observations of the changes going on within him.  He is noticing the lightness in his home, and therefore in his thoughts.  He is witnessing his world opening up to something new.


This is familiar to me, as I remember the tightness in my chest when I was surrounded by "stuff".  I also remember the feeling of expansion when I got the courage to release.  I was there.  I was there once before.  My friend's experience is similar to my own journey.  The journey this 30-day writing exercise is about. It too started with "letting go".

What first came to mind was the HUGE 3 day yard sale I had, but it was actually before that.  Before the letting go of a husband, which created the yard sale.  In reflection, it was the letting go of an outgrown belief of what marriage is or should be, and that was 5 years ago.

In looking through my journals, capturing the right entries for my book, I am swept up into the emotional dense energies of years gone by.  Though I was mindful to remain an observer, I was grateful for the appearance of my 4 year old niece knocking at the door.  She rattled me awake from a life long ago and back into the beautiful spring time of today and her presence.

My how things change....when you first let go.

Sun? Writing? Sun? Writing?

It's Saturday and I have the flexibility to do both.  The sun is like a lover that gently strokes my skin and fills the moment with bliss.  Yum!  Writing; simply a tool of self expression.  Our most important purpose on this planet...choosing words that readers will drink heartily to satisfy their quench.

I awoke this morning after sleeping in until 6:30, then spent two hours privately in writing and spiritual practice. My house-mate is so respectful of my closed door.  Living in a 200 sq ft space for nearly 2 years, has given me that sweet spot of knowing when a space in time and place is truly mine.  This morning was like that, yesterday's solo hike was like that, this exact moment is like that...and so I write.

I will bravely go into Walgreens today to get a notebook.  It was suggested to me a while back, that the reason they, and other "drugstores" can sell things so cheap, is that they make up soooo much money on their pharmaceuticals...I guess that would make them a ....."drug store".  That's honesty.

The notebook is for the safe landing of my post-it wall collage pieces into something that I can thumb through, with page dividers as chapters.  Monday I will be prepared to start "creating" a visual example of my book.  The best advice I have gotten so far, is allow it to be it's own entity, don't try to control it, just allow it to unfold.

Writing List:

1. Write 500 word summary of my Book (for the jacket)
2. Create Working title
3. write 100 word Bio
4. Write 100 word "Acknowledgment"
5. Print selected journal entries for chapter bodies
6. Print selected e-mails for chapter supporters

And so the journey begins.

Writing... Day1, Day 2

Writing!  I am offering myself the gift of time.  Thirty days between jobs to rest into the lifestyle of writing.   A 30+ year old fantasy of mine is to published a book, and it is getting exhausting to carry any further.  I figure 30 days of developing the writer's lifestyle before I return to work, will get me closer to understand what my writing experience is for me, and how best I am to express it.
At least 4 hours a day...weekends included, will be devoted to writing.  For my first project I have a resolution I started on New Years;  daily four pages of automatic writing.  What is automatic writing? It is non-stop writing, regardless if you have a thought present or not. There may be times where I simply write, blah, blah, blah, until another thought thread forms in my mind.  This task takes about 30 minutes each morning. 
Synchronicity worked in my favor, and an opportunity to write a 500 page article about my family's business to submit in a local publication was mine if I wanted it.  Of course.  The article is now amongst my siblings for review.  Review can be touchy, and is one of the writer's growing opportunities I need to be open to.  Honest, objective, criticism.
Besides this one, which I hope to contribute to daily....maybe the new spot for my daily automatic, I have another blog devoted to changing consciousness, which I will be contributing to a couple of days a week.  Lastly, I have a rough outline of a novel/memoir with large post-it notes on my bedroom wall, which I am awaiting inspiration to tell me the next step.  I have picked up stones and alter pieces that resonate with the energies I use for writing, which currently is Gabrielle, Zackielle, Sananda, and most importantly at this time, Mother Mary Magdeline.
Writer's Group anyone?

Well many months have passed, and I am not 100% raw anymore. I will be changing my BLOG title soon to "Conscious Living"or something of the sorts, examining much more than food in this physical experience we are all sharing.

I continue to be mostly raw during the week, out of practicality than real choice, but raw continues to strongly resonate very well with me. I always feel my absolute best when following raw.

Every two weeks (payday), I allow myself to experience no judgment and complete openness in food choices.... my "celebration of the 4th dimension"....which may contain beer, cheap chocolate, and cheese. (big smile!) However, I am always so grateful when Monday rolls around again!